Holy Water

There was a middle age Orthodox priest who lived in a village in the south of Albania. It was a very mountainous area. On this day, the diocese was finally installing a telephone in the church office. The middle aged priest told the younger priest to oversee the project, while he walked the hillside to pick brown mushrooms (and in an uncharacteristic mistake, he picked a mushroom that would kill him in 3 days time). Later that day he saw a thunderstorm across the valley, but he had lived in this mountainous region for 45 years, and he knew it would burn off before it arrived to the village. A cat came into the church and knocked over a few bottles of holy water he had been carefully siphoning. Some of the water spilled, and the younger priest shewed the cat away. A young couple came in to have their marriage paperwork drafted. The older priest wrote down the new telephone number and asked the couple to please call next Tuesday.

Comorbidity

There are 22 million gallons of trapped water in discarded water bottles in the USA. The molecules inside are unable to re-enter the drinking water system and likely suffer from anxiety and depression—waiting hundreds of years to be freed, tiny genies in their wet lamps.

Bells

She told her husband that she hadn’t ordered a bell. It was after all, difficult to describe what kind of bell she wanted. She told the man who orders the bell that she did not want a doorbell, or a hand bell. He suggested a cat bell, but she also did not want to risk offending the dog. He then suggested a large metal Christmas bell—but it was June and that wasn’t right. He thought then, perhaps she might want the type of bell that you find on the counter of certain places very late at night—like a motel lobby you’ve come to after a ten hour drive through vast open plains—having witnessed cumulonimbus clouds release small tinkling hail that made the farmer’s children walk out onto their porch with arms outstretched, as their mother watched from inside, feeling momentarily—a deep ache deep in her chest.